There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
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Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
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i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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