i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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