I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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