You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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