I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
