just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
