its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
