Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
