It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
