last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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