My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
