go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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