I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
