I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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