we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize