i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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