Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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