I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
