yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
