It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
