there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
