The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
