i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I can text with my tongue
no, he came in my armpit
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
