In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just found a bag of teeth...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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