also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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