Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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