his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
