3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
