I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize