what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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