17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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