Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
