Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish I could teleport
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Do vagina's smell?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
