Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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