these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
