Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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