She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
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All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
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I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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