would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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