Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
