is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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