i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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