guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Sober January is a disaster.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
