why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
