found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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