ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
