College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
