So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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