It's Friday. Sex?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
