i jhust puked up my retainher.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize