we have pet lesbian snakes
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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