Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
