Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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