i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
