we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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