Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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