I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Text me some of your sweat
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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