I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You have to summon your inner elephant
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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