I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
