my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
