Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
