Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
