I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
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his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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