dude i'm inner monologue high
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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