Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
