dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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